sort of the baseline of companies going out of business all over the place as a normal part of capitalism.

So I don't want to act happy that anybody's going out of business. I'm just saying it's accelerating a trend that was going to happen anyway.

I'm noticing that Republicans are using a phrase I hadn't seen as much of before. They're saying that the Democrats have made a devil's bargain with the progressives. A devil's bargain. Watch how much satanic imagery comes out of the Biden-Harris campaign. Again, just sort of a fun coincidence.

By the way, I tricked another couple of publications into running a story about me believing that Satan is behind the Biden campaign. So every time they do a hit piece on me, there's another one this morning, a hit piece on me. They don't quite know what's going on because first of all I don't know if they know that they've changed the story from me saying explicitly I don't believe that Satan exists. They've changed it all the way to I'm promoting Satan being part of the Biden campaign, literally the opposite of what I said. But I did it intentionally. I allowed them to take me out of context. I created it so that they could do it easily, not because they were fooled but because they're bad people and they would take it out of context, which they did.

So now when I see a hit piece like that that is falling into my trap, I just retweet it. You can't fail harder at a hit piece than to have the target of your hit piece just retweet it. That's it. Just retweets it. That's as hard as you can fail.

All right. Eighty-one Nobel Prize winners endorsed Joe Biden for president in an open letter. Eighty-one Nobel Prize winners. Wow. Smart, capable people. The best of the best. And 81 of them, all Nobel Prize winners, and they all think that Biden is better.

But let's see what are the reasons, because if you've got 81 Nobel Prize winners and they offer their reasons, these are going to be good reasons. I mean these are not — we're not talking about a bunch of idiots. These are smart people, the best humanity has to offer. So when I read their reasons to you for supporting Biden, I think you'll find them quite brilliant. So sit down, because sometimes this level of brilliance can blind you momentarily. So if you are operating a motor vehicle, just pull over to the side of the road because I'm going to give you some brilliance that honestly I was thinking of wearing sunglasses just to read this, but I think we can get away with it just playing it straight.

All right. The reasons that the 81 Nobel Prize winners give is that Biden has a willingness to listen to experts. Okay, that part's stupid because literally every president listens to experts. There's never been one that didn't listen to experts. There never will be one that doesn't listen to experts. So the first part is kind of a throwaway. That's obviously not the brilliant part because like I said these are 81 Nobel Prize winners so they're not going to rest on unwilling to listen to experts when that's the stupidest thing you could ever say in public.

So it's the second part where the brilliance comes out. Here goes. And he has — Joe Biden has a deep appreciation for using science to find solutions. Okay, let me look a little further in the paragraph because I'm looking for the smart part because I know they wouldn't just say he has a deep appreciation for using science because again that would be literally every living human being would fall into this description. Trump, Biden, strangers, people you've never met, people with severe brain damage, people in other countries, people who have never been to school, people who have been to school, people who have PhDs, people who will never have PhDs. Pretty much a hundred percent of all humanity has a deep appreciation for using science to find solutions.

So there must be something else in this paragraph where they get to the smart part. Oh, that's the end of the paragraph, huh? I guess what they're telling us is that the Nobel Prize is no longer prestigious. I actually wanted to get a Nobel Prize until I read this and now I see that there's not really any point to it. They've actually ruined the prestige of the Nobel Prize now.

By the way, I had this same experience when I was younger. I always wished, because I'm in sort of a writing business, I wish that I could win a Pulitzer Prize because imagine how cool that would be, right? I mean just for the bragging. It's like, yeah, I don't like to brag about it but I did win a Pulitzer Prize. You know, I always wanted to be able to say that or have other people introduce me as Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Scott Adams. I thought that would be pretty cool. And I felt that until I met somebody who told me how the Pulitzer Prize committee works. It's just people who read books and pick the one they liked. That's it. It's just a small group of people who read some books that have been submitted. It's not all the books in the world, just the people who filled out an application and said I think my work is so good it should be considered. And then a small group of people read their stuff and say which one do you like? I kind of like this one. That's it.

Winning the Pulitzer Prize has no prestige. Nothing. There's just nothing to recommend about that award except somehow we got it in our heads that it's important. It isn't. It's just several people read some books and they decided which one they liked. That's it.

Likewise when I won the top award in cartooning, it's called the Reuben. It's like the Academy Award for a cartoonist. And one year — and I'd lusted after it when I was a new cartoonist. I thought if only someday I could win the top award in cartooning my life would be complete. And one day I won the top two awards: the top award for a cartoon strip but also the same year I won the top award for all cartoonists of any kind, the number one in the entire world. And after I won it I realized, oh it's just because I had a good year financially. Basically I made a lot of noise. I was in the press. The award committee said you know what would be good? If we nominate somebody who's already getting a lot of attention and then we'll have more attendance at our event. That was it. It had nothing to do with the quality of my work and everything to do with the fact that it was unusually commercially valuable that year. That was sort of a peak period for commercial success of Dilbert.

I thought, okay, well that's off the list. So now I have no respect whatsoever for the top award in cartooning because I won it. It took all the value out of it. I have no respect for the Pulitzer Prize because it's just some people saying what book they like. That's it. And now 81 Nobel Prize winners just came out with the dumbest open letter in all the world and I just looked at it and said if that's all it takes to be a Nobel Prize winner, is to be this dumb, I'm not sure I want one of those either.

So I didn't expect that to happen. Here I made a list to help you identify all the dumb people so you don't have to interact with them. So these are the complaints about Trump that if you see any of these you can just stop listening to whoever is talking or tweeting.

All right, if somebody says that Trump doesn't believe in science, just stop listening. Just walk away. Nothing that somebody says after that sentence is worth listening to. Likewise, doesn't listen to experts. Basically the same thing. Don't listen to anything that anybody says after they say that.

How about this one? Trump is unwilling to do his job. Unwilling to do his job? If you hear somebody say that, just walk away. You don't need to hear anything else they say after that. Moreover, you should actively try to forget anything they said before that just in case you inadvertently believe in any of it. Because somebody who is so dumb that they would say — and it doesn't matter if you talk about Trump or any other human — if you say they're unwilling to do their job once they're president, because a lot of people are watching, right? They're doing their job. Trump, Obama, it doesn't matter who you're talking about. By the time you become president you're willing to do the job. You didn't get there by being lazy or not caring.

How about this one? He only cares about himself. That's one that you can just say, ah, I'm out. Anybody who could say something that monumentally stupid, that he only cares about himself. There's no such thing as a president whose personal fate is disconnected from the fate of the country he is running or she is running. You can't disconnect those things. It's the most transparent job in the entire world. There's no job more transparent. We're looking at everything Trump is doing. Everything. We see it all. And how in the world would anybody be in that job and think, you know, I think I'll do some stuff that's just good for me, bad for the country, good for me. I don't think anybody will notice. That's not a thing.

The president knows with dead certainty — I don't have to be a mind reader. I just have to know that the president has an IQ over 20 because anybody with an IQ over 20, I might be exaggerating a little bit, knows that they have to do a good job for the country. The entire world is watching every minute of every day. We're all watching. He doesn't have that option of I think I'll just do something that's good for me. That's not a thing.

Even when the president goes golfing, again I don't care if it's Clinton or Obama or Trump, do you want your leader to have some time with his own head, get outdoors, to clear his mind, maybe meet a few people that he wouldn't have time to talk to otherwise? Yeah, you should want that and you should want him to do a copious amount because it's good for him. Does he still work hard enough? Yes. Yes, he works hard enough. He works really hard. It's obvious.

All right. The other ones that are crazy is he's a dictator when a hundred percent of what we observe violates that as