s fun. And I'd come by, it's like, hey, where's the mascot? Oh he was just here. He'll be back in a while. Took a break.

So you can reframe things from problems to mascots and watch how it stops bothering you.

Twitter user Roly-Poly had a good suggestion for your job. Right, if you have a boss, here's a good suggestion you can employ. And he says in a tweet, he goes, anytime you need to admit a mistake to a boss or a client, bring up this Suez Canal ship disaster. Talk to them about it for two to four minutes. Get them thinking about how many billions of dollars one person's mistake cost. Then tell them about your mistake. It'll look smaller. Completely. That it's just completely true. Now it's funny but it's completely true. That would literally work. So Roly-Poly has been paying attention.

So Joe Biden put Kamala Harris in charge of the migrant crisis. So now she has a portfolio. What do you make of that? Is it because the migrant crisis is a big problem so you need to put your highest firepower on that job? Is that why? Maybe. Somebody suggested it so that Biden won't have to answer questions about immigration. He'll just refer the questions to Harris. Maybe. Maybe a little bit. That's certainly a benefit, side benefit.

But I have a hypothesis that he hates her. Because can you think of anything that would be a worse job than to be a Democrat and an ex-prosecutor and being put in charge of immigration? I literally can't think of a worse penalty. Because she's been so nice to him. I mean other than calling him a giant racist during the primaries. If you don't count that she's been really nice to him and he rewards her by giving her the one job she can't possibly succeed at. It's like an impossible to succeed situation because the Democrat philosophy makes it impossible to do anything practical. So I feel like Joe Biden hates Kamala Harris and he's just showing us in a very beta way. All right, or it could be just the vice president's got portfolios and that was hers. That's the other possibility.

When Biden was asked about the press conference that he will be having today, we're all waiting for that. That'll be interesting. I'll be watching that. And Biden, when he was asked if he was preparing for the press conference, Biden said, what? And then the question was repeated and they said, what press conference? Are you worried yet?

Now my interpretation of this is that he was joking because it's very much like the dad jokes he likes to do. You know, when Peter Doocy would ask him, you know, who are you going to appoint to do whatever, he likes to quip, I'm going to point you. It's just sort of his dad joke brushing something aside. So I'm pretty sure he was joking about saying what press conference, given that it was such a big story and everything. It was funny. Well, or he thought it was funny.

But here is my professional humorist advice on self-deprecating humor. Now self-deprecating humor is not something that everybody should try. There's a right way to do it and a wrong way to do it. A good self-deprecating humor would be, oh I have to do whatever my spouse tells me to do, or my secretary is really the one who's in charge, or well I don't know what I was thinking, I was so dumb. But you don't really take those as being too serious, right? The person doing the self-deprecating humor is clearly not really insulting themselves. They're so much in power that they can insult themselves without really any risk.

But here's what you don't want to do. If you've got some accusations or suspicions that you might have dementia, you don't want to play a joke where it looks like you have dementia. I'm just saying, in the world of self-deprecating humor, don't do the one that actually looks true. Right? You want to do the self-deprecating on the things that people think is not true. So for example if they think you're very smart and capable and they're not going to change their mind about that because of your whole history of being smart and capable, you can do a little self-deprecating humor about the time you messed up. But if they think you have dementia you don't want to do self-deprecating humor about maybe you do, because that makes you look like you have dementia because it's not very smart.

So what's going to happen at this Biden press conference? How do you think it's going to go? What's your prediction? Do you think he will gaffe out? Do you think he'll make such a mistake it'll be a giant disaster? What do you think?

My prediction is he'll do fine. He'll do fine because I think the press will be very kind to him. I think they'll ask softball questions. The few people who don't, let's say the Fox News people, he'll brush them aside and joke about them and say the canned thing that's written down in front of him. Whatever. Yeah, he'll do fine. I think he'll get through it. It would be surprising if he didn't. It won't be great. But don't you wonder how the press will treat it? Well wonder no more because even though it hasn't happened I am going to read you some of the reviews of his press conference before they even happen. Are you ready?

So I've asked people to write glowing reviews of Biden's performance today before it even happens because you know you could write them before they happen. All right, let's see what some of the, so my priming joke was CNN will report after his press conference, orange man bad but dementia man good, world rejoices.

Let's see what other people said. Christopher Hill says in review of President Biden's first presser, join us as we discuss what Donald Trump was doing while it was televised. So nice to have a president who doesn't lie. Biden returns civility to press conference. Doesn't shy away from the tough questions. President's favorite food is. Yeah, it's gonna be that kind of stuff.

Let's see some more. In a refreshing change of pace, this is Matt Fitzgerald, in a refreshing change of pace from the previous administration Biden's press conference was a free-flowing exchange of ideas based in confident mature leadership. I came and perhaps we all did at least just a little bit. I should have read that to myself before I read it to you.

Biden stumbles, Russia suspected. MSNBC. Country unites around president as he fixes everything. Not the mean-spirited answers we've been accustomed to from the previous administration. He showed an empathy we haven't seen in four years. He really cares.

So anyway that was fun. You should read the rest of them on my Twitter feed.

Somebody asked on Twitter today and I wonder the same thing, how long before you can get banned from social media for saying that Biden has dementia? It's coming, isn't it? I feel like that's coming. Although this seems a little bit more like an opinion so maybe it'll last longer. But now my defense, I've prepared my defense in advance, is that no reasonable person would believe anything I say. I think that's a pretty good defense. So no reasonable person would believe anything I say. So I'm safe.

According to Rasmussen polls, Biden's handling of the COVID-19 situation wins a majority approval. I'm starting to think that averages don't make any sense in 2021 if you're looking at political polling. Because if you dig down a little bit it says 30% of conservatives think Biden is doing a good job on COVID but 88% of liberals. Does it make sense to average them? I mean I guess it does if you know to find out if you're over 50 is useful. But I feel like the concept of an average for the country, it doesn't make any sense because it's just two different groups. It's like averaging an orange and an apple. Well the average of an orange and an apple is a, I don't know what it's a nothing. There's nothing that's the average of an orange and an apple. So I guess we still have to know what's more than 50 for lots of reasons.

All right, so there's more. I feel as if every week is a new Governor Cuomo scandal and you think they're going to be done but no there's another one. Turns out that maybe the governor of New York's brother, Chris Cuomo of CNN, may have had some special access to testing and stuff when he had his coronavirus infection.

Now how much do you care about that? Do you care too much that the governor's family gets a little extra resources during a pandemic? I get the point. You know the point is crystal clear that you know people shouldn't be jumping to the front of the line. But I got to tell you of all the things I could be bothered about in the entire world I don't really care about a politician taking care of their family. Do you? Is that the thing you're going to bother, worry about? Now if it had been a lobbyist I think I'd care a little bit more if a lobbyist did it. But are we really gonna get down on people for taking care of their family? Really? I get it. I get it. He shouldn't have gone to the front of the line. Slap on the hand. But I feel as if you can even make an argument for it that you know the reason we have security for our leaders but you don't get security. The reason that they get a private plane if they're leaders but you don't get a private plane, right? So we do say that our leaders should have some special, I wouldn't say rights but special treatment because their influence is leveraged on all of us. So you want to make sure that the leaders are the most effective they can be in a way that doesn't