was as good as the container of beverage I just ingested. And if that doesn't get you going, nothing will.

Well, the walls are closing in on Trump. His legal woes continue to... oh, actually no, nothing's happening. So it turns out that the latest rumor, unconfirmed but it looks like all the Manhattan charges or the grand jury that was going to look into all the Trump financial dealings, they've been looking and looking. They've been talking to people. They've been investigating. They've demanded and they've received documents. And after months and months of grand jury stuff, the foreshadowing, not yet confirmed, is that it seems increasingly unlikely there will be any indictments coming out of this.

Have we ever seen any President Trump witch hunts before? I feel as if it was nothing but witch hunts. You know, I'm not going to say that Trump was an angel all of his life. And the reason I'm not going to say that is because he told us that directly. He literally said in public, "I'm no angel." But then he would tell you why he could help you. And as president, so if you expected him to be an angel in however you wanted to find that, you shouldn't have been surprised if he talks about grabbing people by the whatever, because he kind of signaled that as directly as you possibly could.

And I always thought that immunized him. A good way to immunize people is to tell people that you have the flaw that you're worried they're going to blame you for. Because if you say it first, it just takes all the fun out of it. You know, if Trump had said, "You know, I say horrible things in private. You should know that." And then you find out he said a horrible thing in private, you're like, "Hey, you said a horrible thing." Okay, you did tell us that. And it just takes all the energy out of it.

And so may I admit to you right now, I'd like to confess. I say horrible things in private. Horrible things. Just terrible things. If any of it were presented to you out of context, you would say to yourself, "Well, that's the worst person I think I've ever heard of in the world." But here's the context. Do you have a friend like this? Now this won't apply to all of you, but some of you do. Do you have a friend who, if you're just alone, could be somebody you've known a long time, usually it is, that the funniest thing you can do is to say the most inappropriate things? Whatever is the most absolutely uncivilized thing you could say, something you would never say in front of someone else. And the fun is how awful it is. Am I right?

So I often think if somehow my digital devices are recording every word I say and somehow it all came back to me and you played these bits, they would sound worse than anything you've ever heard in your life. Like you think you've heard people say bad things on hidden audio? You should see mine. Well, I don't know. You should hear them if such things exist. But yeah, I'll make your head explode. But I wouldn't say it in public, right? The whole reason it's funny is because you wouldn't say it in public. That's the entire energy of it. It's inappropriate.

So it's tough to see stuff out of context is what I'm saying.

So here's another big gigantic story that has been haunting us forever. This whole Manhattan possible indictments of Trump for financial chicanery or whatever. That apparently none of it happened. None of it happened. What would happen if everybody saw Trump's tax returns and they were just clean? That would be the funniest thing, wouldn't it? After all this time. Like let's just say the entire tax returns became public and everybody was like, "Oh, this is going to be good. This is going to be good." And everybody's salivating over it. And they're like, "Huh, okay, there's nothing there."

Because apparently that's what happened with these Manhattan indictments. There was nothing there. It's what happened with Russia collusion. Russia collusion? Not there. The closest they could find is trying to confuse us after the fact that Russian interference in the election was the same as or somehow adjacent to Russia collusion with somebody running for president. Very different. Very different. But that