ing, the whole thing—I'm just going to boil it into—and I could do this because I'm a trained cartoonist. Don't try this at home. You won't do it right. But I'm a professional. I can take complicated situations and boil them into their simplest form.

What we learned primarily—we learned a lot, but there's one thing that captures all the rest. What we learned is that President Trump couldn't even get Don Jr. on board. Not even close. The only people he could get on board were some lawyers who are trained to agree with you for money and support your point whatever it is. And after all of this talk and all of this talk of insurrection and he's going to hold office, we know now for sure—we now know for sure he couldn't get Ivanka on board. He couldn't get Jared on board. He couldn't get Don Junior on board. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think there's any non-lawyer in the White House inner circle who had—Bill Barr wasn't on board. Giuliani is an attorney. Giuliani's an attorney. He couldn't get a non-lawyer on board. How about Sydney Powell or something? I don't know what she was saying at the time. But that's what you learned.

So the January 6 trial I think is the biggest failure in politics that we'll ever see because it sounded really good on paper and I have to admit it worked for a week. It narrowed the gap. But even without a defense—I mean that's so important. Without a defense they just lined themselves up and shot themselves in front of the public. So anybody who watched it just thought, well yeah, he didn't convince his chief of staff, any of his children, his son-in-law. He didn't get anybody. Nobody. And you know the Democrats were worried about how close we were to an insurrection. Do you know how close we were? Zero.

And I didn't know that, right? I mean it looked to me like there was no insurrection, but I thought maybe there were some people in the White House who kind of were thinking, well let's see if we can hold power anyway. Turns out no. Just lawyers. And that's a special case.

All right. Anyway, so I told you that you come here for the best jokes about Roe versus Wade. It's a serious situation, but I'd like to call out three blue-checked verified entities on Twitter because they were the only ones willing to retweet this joke of mine. So it turns out that Dick's Sporting Goods—and I learned this in a tweet from Lauren Chen, but she noted that Dick's Sporting Goods is going to pay their employees a certain amount if they want to go somewhere to get an abortion. And so I helpfully added a headline, a breaking news headline to the story: Dicks cause abortions. Dicks cause abortions.

And only Greg Gutfeld and the Rasmussen poll and Lauren Chen retweeted that, at least of the blue checks. So congratulations to those with a sense of humor. But okay, this is a true story. I'm not making this up. In the mall that's pretty near me, maybe the closest one, there are two businesses that are next to each other in the same little parking lot. One is Dick's and the other is a restaurant called BJ's. Now whoever decided that two anchor tenants should be Dick's and BJ's, I think it's time for a slow clap.

Now maybe it happened by accident. Maybe Elon Musk's car models spells S-E-X-Y completely by accident. Maybe so. Maybe Dick's and BJ's are just in the same place for no reason whatsoever. But it happened.

All right. If you could buy stock in states—and I don't think there's any way to do that, right? There's no indirect way to invest in a state, is there? Probably is. I can't think of one. But if you could invest in states, which ones would you buy and which ones would you sell now? Go based on the Roe versus Wade. Just based on that. Reverse it. Well you can throw everything else in there. Throw in school boards. Good one. Throw in school boards, gun rights, throw in abortion situation. Throw it all in there. Throw in gas prices, energy, wokeness. Throw it all in there. Which states would you buy and which would you sell? Talk to me, people. Talk to me.

All right, we've got lots of opinions. So I see most of you are playing for the team and saying that the conservative states are going to be the beneficiaries. I would have said that until the Roe versus Wade situation, because that is going to really stop any kind of high-talent young people from—I mean obviously conservatives don't care. People are not going to have kids, maybe don't care or et cetera. But I would buy California. You can hate a lot of stuff about California and we've got some issues, a lot, a lot. But we may have bottomed out. I think we may have bottomed out, right? You know California isn't going to go down forever. That's my prediction. I guess it's not guaranteed. It could go down forever, but I don't think so. There are too many strong advantages here. Even our budget looks good. You know, the California budget looks strong. You know who saw that coming?

So yeah, California—when it comes back it will. It's going to rage. If I were an investor in states I would buy California even if you hate everything about it, just as an investor, right? It's sort of like to some of you that would be like investing in a tobacco company. It might be distasteful to you, but I'm just saying it's likely to make money. I think California's badness is all baked in, like it's all part of the cake already. So you've already discounted that in your head and this is new news. I think it's going to make a difference. But in a larger sense I think California is going to come raging back maybe three to five years. It's going to take us a while to figure out how to keep the lights on. If we can keep the lights on, this is a pretty awesome place.

As Corey D'Angelo helpfully informs us, there's a huge victory in school choice in Arizona. The Arizona state senate just passed a bill to fund students instead of systems. But this is the most expensive one, as Corey tells us. The most expensive school choice initiative in the nation. So basically families take their education dollars and they can apply them to a variety of places. So there would be a free market competition in that state.

Now how much do I love that? Some places will become the laboratories and we will find out if this approach to schooling is better. Now you probably think that because I retweet school choice stuff practically every day you probably think, well there's a guy who knows that school choice is the best thing and we should do it. Nope, nope, nope. I'm completely open to the fact that maybe there's some flaw that's not obvious. Generally speaking, anytime you can test a free market solution you want to do that. You w