Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the most canceled content in all of America. And I know you're here for some of that. We'll talk about the news first and then we'll get to more outrages.

Do you think I could say something that's even more problem-making and provocative than what I've already done? I probably can. I probably can. I've got one in the chamber, so if you want to wait around for that one, just wait for the one that's in the chamber.

Okay, so if you'd like your experience to be maximized — and I know, well let me look at you. Yes, yes, you're that kind of person. You are the kind of person who does not settle for a below-par live stream like you see so often in other places. No, you want a good experience, a maximum experience. And for that, all you need is a cup or a glass or a tankard or any kind of plastic vessel. Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee. And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine hit that makes everything better. It's called the simultaneous sip. And today it comes turbocharged with two whiteboards. Two. Go.

Some people told me this week there are many opi