It's called the simultaneous sip, and it happens now.

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So according to the news, Sam Altman just got married. And imagine his year. Sam Altman launches the greatest new technology in our lifetime, which is OpenAI and ChatGPT. Then he gets fired or whatever it was, and then it's a big drama, and he comes back, and AI is changing the world. And the thing that we didn't know during all of that drama is that he was planning a wedding. Do any of you ever plan a wedding? Do you have any idea how much trouble that is? Can you imagine his year? This is like the year that nobody could even understand how in the world do you do all those things in one year. So congratulations to Sam Altman.

There's an app that I thought was very cool. I'm going to tell you about it. It's called Hero, and it uses AI, of course. But all you do is you point your phone at any object you own, and it will tell you how much you can sell it for. Is that cool? I feel like that's what I've been waiting for my whole life. I just want to point my phone at, like, you know, my coffee cup and have it come up with the price. I don't think it quite connects the buyer and the seller, so there's another step there that could be cool. But eBay has something similar, you say? I haven't seen that. Now that's some AI I could use. Just point it at something that tells you what it's worth.

Well, here's some really good news from Germany. So Germany has managed to reduce their emissions. So their emissions are low this year. And you're probably wondering, how did they do it? How did Germany lower its emissions? Well, checking the fine print, Germany lowered their emissions by substantially lowering their quality of life and killing their economic engine of growth. So big success in Germany. Good, good luck Germany. Congratulations on reducing your quality of life to the level that Klaus Schwab requires. So big winner, Klaus Schwab.

All right. Jerry Nadler was quoted as saying that one of the reasons — well, two of the reasons really — that we need immigration, and even he says illegal immigration, so at least he's being very honest about this and transparent. And Nadler says our vegetables would rot in the ground if they weren't being picked by many immigrants, many illegal immigrants. Yeah. So when it comes to national security, Jerry Nadler is most interested in, checking notes again, his food. His food. Yeah, Jerry wants to make sure we've got lots of illegal immigrants because he's hungry and he needs lots of vegetables, lots of vegetables. So he needs more illegal immigrants to get his calorie count up.

Now the one thing I should warn the immigrants about is if we run out of vegetables, Jerry Nadler will eat you. You get that, right? If it's up to Jerry Nadler, first he would eat the vegetables. That's his first choice. But if there are no vegetables, Jerry still needs to eat. He's going to be eating the illegal immigrants. I don't know. I just think that could happen. I'm not guaranteeing it. I'm just saying it could happen. All I'm saying is he's very hungry. That's all I'm saying.

Well, you'll be delighted to know that there's been a big breakthrough in AI writing jokes, and this is quite exciting. You know I told you that AI would never be able to be good at humor. Well, I guess I'm eating my words more than Jerry Nadler is eating illegal immigrants. Because somebody made a George Carlin that doesn't sound at all like George Carlin and tells jokes that don't sound anything like George Carlin would tell, but they've been deemed funny. Do you know what the joke was? Something about a fart that was trying to escape. And so that's the joke that AI came up with.

Now in my experience, AI thinks that all humor is wordplay. And the reason I know that is I've asked AI to tell me jokes, and I can say it specifically: tell