at makes everything better. It’s called the simultaneous sip. It happens now. Go.

Yep. Stein. Yep. That was as good as I hoped.

Well, I wonder if there’s any new science that would suggest that drinking coffee is good for your cardiovascular system. Yes, there is. According to a study, it’s a groundbreaking new study. And it turns out that people who drink coffee in the morning are way healthier. Boom. Take that. I’ll bet you didn’t see that coming. Even though I have a study about that almost every day.

Well, how about this? There was a study. Let’s see if you can guess what happened. There was a study according to Medscape. And they wanted to see if they could treat eating disorders with marijuana and then separately with psychedelics. What do you think was the result when they tested to see if you could control people’s appetites? Obviously the marijuana would be increasing their appetite and the psychedelics might help them with some other kind of eating disorder. Do you think it worked?

The answer is yes. Because every time they do a study that gets published in the popular media about psychedelics, every time it’s about, well, we tried psychedelics on this particular mental problem, and guess what? It worked. So it turns out there may be no mental problems you can’t solve with psychedelics. One or two doses.

Speaking of marijuana, President Trump is allegedly reportedly considering reclassifying marijuana as a less dangerous drug. I don’t know about that, but there’s some thinking that he talked about that or was willing to consider it. But I feel like he’s been willing to consider that for a long time now. Someone is alleging that because the marijuana business is big enough that it can make very, very large donations to campaigns that maybe it’s a different situation. But I will say I would bet, I don’t know. Yeah, I feel as though if Trump were going to do this, he would have already done it. I don’t know why he would wait. So I’ll bet against that.

Well, the New York Post is reporting all the important news this summer because remember I told you that the summer has not the most important news. So they still have to fill all the space. So the New York Post is reporting that doctors in China say they’re baffled over the case of the young woman who experiences uncontrollable orgasms multiple times per day. She’s a 20-year-old and she’s in a perpetual state of arousal. Now, the article goes on to say that she spends almost her entire day, oh wow, just binge watching old episodes of Coffee with Scott Adams and they can’t figure out why she’s having non-stop orgasms. No, I just made up part of that story. The part about watching my show. But allegedly a 20-year-old woman can’t stop having orgasms.

I know what you’re thinking. Not the worst problem in the world, but you wouldn’t like it. I don’t think you’d like it at all after the first, well, if it were me, I don’t think I would like it to have continuous orgasms. Oh sure, the first 10,000 I’d probably like it plenty, but eventually you just get tired of it.

Well, in other related news, according to The Logical Indian, I don’t know if that’s a publication, I hope it is, mobile phone use and laptops on your lap are creating a tenfold rise in male infertility. So men, I don’t like to give sexual and/or medical advice, but I’m going to make an exception. If you forget to bring your condom and your sexual partner is ready to go, what I recommend is using your phone in your pocket and putting a laptop on your lap. Probably 15 minutes will cook whatever you got in there and you’ll be good to go. No condom needed. Just use that laptop.

And I recommend watching Coffee with Scott Adams because it makes women orgasm and it makes men infertile. Sorry about that. I apologize for both of those things.

Anyway, remember how it’s such a mystery that the birth rate is dropping and I keep saying it’s not a mystery. It’s every single thing is making it worse. Everything from economics to health