nager your whole life you'll never have a better time to make a friend. This could be the best time to make a friend.

All right, Jeffrey Toobin. So you may remember I might be the only person who gave a full-throated defense of Jeffrey Toobin's job when he got in trouble for his little Zoom masturbation thing. I said let's not make that a career-ending thing. Let's just call that a human moment. Let's not make that about his job. And I don't know anybody else who said that. I don't know, did anybody else say let him keep his job? But I did. And now I'm glad because he came out with an article on CNN in which he says he doesn't think Trump should be charged with any crimes for the January 6 stuff. Boy did people not like that. Do you know what reasons Jeffrey Toobin gave for why Trump should not be charged with a crime? There wasn't any evidence of a crime. He wrote this for CNN. So CNN spared Jeffrey Toobin and you know I don't think this is literally true but it looks like — I'll just say it looks like for fun — it looks like they said okay we're going to spare you but you need to do one suicide mission for us in return. And he was like I don't like that deal but it's the best I'll get. And the suicide mission is Toobin has to explain — are you ready for this? This is fun — Toobin has to explain on behalf of CNN why everything they've reported about Trump breaking all the laws was not true. So Toobin has to take the arrows for informing CNN's audience that everything they've told them about Trump so far is a lie because there's no chance of him getting prosecuted for anything.

Here are the reasons. It's ambiguous that he wanted any violence because he said go march but don't be violent. How do you get prosecuted for inciting violence when you said don't be violent? And Jeffrey Toobin correctly points out — I mean I'm no lawyer but it sounds pretty logical to me — that if you didn't say do violence and you said don't do violence it's going to be hard to say you were in favor of violence. It's ambiguous and certainly well beyond the reasonable doubt standard. And let's see what else. So he didn't do that. And anything he told — let's say the attorney general to do, if Trump believed what he was telling the attorney general to say, which is that the election was fraudulent, that's what Trump wanted him to say. If Trump believed that was true there's no crime. Telling your attorney general to tell the truth as you see it even if you're wrong, it's not a crime. Not a crime. So as Toobin correctly points out there's literally no evidence of a crime. Now that doesn't mean no crime happened. I'm just saying there's no evidence of one. And he had to be the guy, the sacrificial lamb, who went out and told the CNN audience you know everything we've been telling you for a while, it's kind of there's no crime here. And he did a good job. Anyway so I find that I am proud to have supported Jeffrey Toobin's career and still am because I think he gave us a straight — he gave us a strange story on this. Somebody says it was a stroke of genius. All right yes the puns fall like water.

So of course CNN has to target whoever is the strongest GOP candidate for president next time which is Ron DeSantis if not Trump. So if Trump runs of course he'll get nominated but DeSantis would be the obvious number two. And so Chris Cillizza is going after Ron DeSantis for getting rid of mask mandates in schools. I guess a few schools are getting sanctioned or something by the state for having them anyway. But I read the article about Cillizza's hit piece on DeSantis but all he had was sarcasm. He didn't have any reasons. Imagine a hit piece on CNN against a Republican and the best they could do was sarcasm. No reasons. So for example DeSantis said that Florida was in quote COVID season. Now what he meant was that when it's hot people spend more time indoors where you get more COVID. So DeSantis was basically saying yeah you know we expected a spike because people are getting their air conditioning, they're inside. And Chris Cillizza uses sarcasm to say there's no COVID season. There's no COVID season. No there's no COVID season. There's just a season in which the COVID is expected to be more for an obvious reason: people are indoors. That's it. That was his best hit on DeSantis was something that you completely agree with and he actually said he agreed with him. But before he agreed with him he treated him sarcastically like well there's no COVID season. Oh yeah that's it. Are you kidding me? That's the best they could come up with? Is that DeSantis did something popular?

Oh well, in the bad timing news. Bad timing news. Kamala Harris had long planned a trip to Vietnam which is going to coincide with the fall of Afghanistan, the withdrawal of Afghanistan. Now just a coincidence that that was planned. But how bad is the timing that we're going to be made to think about Vietnam at the same time the Biden administration wants you to think about anything but Vietnam? Can you see the meeting? It's like all right guys this is the Biden administration. We've got quite the PR problem with the Afghanistan thing but we'll be okay if people don't make the Vietnam comparison. As long as we keep Vietnam out of the news I think we can manage this crisis and spin it. So all right everybody what are you doing? Joe Biden what are you doing? I'll be hiding and I'll make one statement to say I made no mistakes. Good, good that's good. Everybody else will be saying whatever Joe Biden says we'll just — good good you're good. Anybody else? Kamala Harris what are you doing? I'll be traveling to Vietnam. Nope. Bad timing.

Do you remember when you became a military genius? It was this week. I remember not going to school for military planning and yet despite my not going to school for military planning I like everybody else in America this week became military geniuses. And let me tell you, let me tell you when I look at this Afghanistan pullout I say to myself you know I have no experience in logistics, no experience in military anything. But you know what, despite my complete lack of information and experience I could have done better in Afghanistan. And so could all of you, right? Because we're pretty smart with our complete lack of information about what was really happening on the ground and all of our military genius.

Now isn't it weird? Think about this. What are the odds of this? You think the simulation theory is weird? What about this? Seven plus billion people in the world. How many of them are military geniuses? Almost all of them. Almost all seven billion are military geniuses because they all told you what went wrong in Afghanistan. But one of the odds there was seven billion military geniuses not one of them was involved in anything in Afghanistan planning the withdrawal. Because it seems like even just one genius would have made a difference but none. They had no geniuses. Is that why you believe — do you believe that all the geniuses were everywhere else except Afghanistan? Take a moment. Just take a moment and think about that. How stupid are we really? Do you think that the people who are in charge of the Afghanistan withdrawal, do you think they didn't think of what you thought of? Do you think there's anything that you thought of that the planners in Afghanistan they didn't think of it? Really? Really they didn't think of it? They didn't. They had not considered the Taliban coming in. And really but you thought of it but nobody there thought of it.

Let me suggest that there's another explanation of what happened and I think it's the obvious one. Now you don't know, right, because we're all speculating. So I'm speculating as much as you are. Right, we're both kind of guessing here. But I'll tell you what seems most likely. Did you hear about the president of Afghanistan's departure? He made it kind of quickly. And why did he leave Kabul as the Taliban were coming in? Why did the president of Afghanistan leave Kabul? Well obviously part of it was he didn't want to be killed. But what was the other part? He didn't want a bloodbath in Kabul. Because if the president stayed they would be fighting and it would get bloody. And then what would be the outcome? Kabul would fall anyway, right? Kabul was going to fall anyway. And what did the intel for the United States say about the Taliban taking over when we left? Our own intel said that in six months they were going to take over. So the one thing we knew is that the Taliban were going to take over sometime within six months. Why do you wait? What was the benefit exactly of waiting? Now you say to yourself well you'd avoid all that airport stuff. But what would you not avoid? What you wouldn't avoid is six months of civil war. Do you think that six months of civil war would have created more or less death than a terribly planned hasty withdrawal? It's not even close. The civil war would have been much worse. The hasty withdrawal, as bad as it was for everybody, as bad as it was, it was better than not staying. I think Biden was 100 percent right. Faster is better. You have two choices: fast disaster, get it over with. Slow disaster. That's it. We had two freaking choices: slow disaster or fast disaster. Biden chose a fast disaster. Good leadership. I'm sorry I'm