it turns out that one professional... Oh damn it, did I not write that down? Oh, somebody had a better joke than I did, quoting the speechwriter humorously. Anyway, never mind. But I wondered if this would be generating a whole category of jokes. Do you know how Letterman used to do the top ten list and it seems like they could always make that funny, at least a few items on it? Because there's something about a top ten list that just naturally is easier to write jokes to. It's a format that you can easily write jokes to.

But when I heard that Kamala Harris's speechwriter quit, I thought, I have an announcement too. My hair stylist has resigned. So this is my public announcement: my hair stylist has resigned. And if that wasn't bad enough, it was a bad day on my staff. My personal stylist quit. Yeah, my personal stylist quit. One day I wear a white t-shirt because it's laundry day. My personal stylist says, I'm out of here.

I have some other news about other people. Michael Moore's personal trainer quit. Just resigned, walked out the door. So am I wrong that this is a genre we can play with? I don't understand what that means. Somebody just said, my gynecologist just quit. I don't know why that's funny. You're not even on the right... That's not even the right theme. It's funnier because it doesn't work. It's funnier because it doesn't work. Oh yeah, I know it's a guy that said it but it's funnier because it doesn't work. Uh, well I guess if you're saying... I mean that's a little too far.

All right, here's a mystery solved maybe. I've been wondering why there haven't been any gigantic forest fires this year in California. Now if you don't live in California you have not noticed that they're not here and I'm pretty sure that we were seeing them by now last year and the year before. No trees left. We got a few left.

And it turns out there was a 60 Minutes report that may have explained why. So apparently we have now, although it's not being utilized or used, I like to say, as much as it could be, there's a helicopter fleet of rapid response types. And there are big Chinook-type helicopters, you know, the double rotors that can lift up anything and they can carry enormous amounts of fire retardant. But the big difference is they're equipped to fly at night.

I didn't know this but did you know this? That they stopped fighting fires at night at least by air. Did you know that? Because I guess the regular night flying is too dangerous. But if you use the ones that are sort of military-grade Chinooks that are meant for all kinds of nighttime things, they can do it safely and it's much easier to fight the fire because it doesn't rage as much at night. So you get it at its weakest point.

But apparently the idea is for an enormous amount of money. So like one flight of these helicopters is going to be millions and millions of dollars. Not one flight but one fire, you know, fighting one fire would be many millions for these helicopters. But it's because of the low altitude that's what makes it dangerous for planes. Somebody's saying that makes sense. So somebody says $23,000 an hour. That sounds about right.

But apparently the company that makes them makes the claim that even though they're insanely expensive, it's less expensive than letting the fire get out of control. And on that I think they make an actually good argument.

Now is it solved? You know I had an idea that maybe is the next generation. I thought that we should have a fleet of drones that's always flying around looking for any fires. Now I guess they're using the helicopters for that and then night vision. But you could use a drone for that. So I think there should always be drones in the air and always looking for forest fires anywhere in California. You know, as soon as one lands another one takes off sort of thing. So if you spot it quickly I guess that's half the fight, right?

You could easily put night vision on a drone but then I thought, what if you had a