Back to episode — Episode 1806 Scott Adams - It's A Funny News Story Day. Come Join Me For A Beverage and Some Laughs
Context —
something probably but we could get that done, right? Now or drones, right? Drones. But if we can see them and we know they work for the cartel and we know it's, you know, they're bringing in the fentanyl and killing us by tens of thousands a year, do you think that we couldn't? Now politically it would never happen so I'm not saying this is practical. I also live in the real world where it would…
← Previous segment →d taken clean off would you need to publish before coyotes wouldn't want to do that anymore? Not many, right? You know, three. You might have to take three heads off and then nobody would do it anymore. That would be it because it would be on everybody's phones in Mexico. Everybody would see it. Yeah, about three. Because our brain forms a pattern at about three. If you did three people would think it was a hundred.
Now am I suggesting it as a practical matter? I don't know. You know I'm no international expert. I just know that fentanyl is coming into the country and killing us and if you asked me what I would be willing to do about it if it were up to me I would be willing to blow the head clean off of every coyote. Let me say it again with no moral qualms whatsoever. If it's up to me and I'm president I'm going to start taking the heads off of all the coyotes and I don't care which side of the border they're on. And if Mexico complains I will take their complaint under consideration and then blow that off, another coyote. And then Mexico will complain and they'll say, gosh you know I feel bad about that but we're going to keep doing it. And I would just keep blasting coyotes until nobody got close to it.
Somebody's asking me if I'm stoned. No I don't act like this when I'm stoned. I'm usually less murderous. Now I'm only murderous when there's a reason. I'm not like murderous in general. No I'm not high. As a matter of fact which would be ironic in its own way.
Do you think we could do a declaration of war against the Mexican cartels? I believe we could. We could not do maybe a declaration of war against the Mexican government. That would be a bad look. But we could declare war against the cartels because all you have to do is declare them international terrorists. Am I right? Right? What's the difference between China shipping precursors for fentanyl into the cartels and then the cartels moving it? The fact that the cartel is just trying to make money and probably their intention has nothing to do with destroying the United States but Mexico does... I'm sorry, not Mexico but China does. China has a goal of destroying the United States through terrorist acts such as this. So the cartels are just working with China as terrorists. Now it's not their purpose. They're just trying to make money. But their functional use is terrorism.
So if you tell me that ISIS had set up territory in Mexico are you telling me we couldn't get government approval to take out ISIS in Mexico? Of course we could. We wouldn't even hesitate. So what's the difference between what the cartels are doing and ISIS? None. There's no difference. There's no difference that matters, right? There's a difference. There's no difference it should matter to how we treat it.
If you put a deadly risk in my neighbor's backyard and my neighbor won't do anything about it I'm going to kill the neighbor. I'm going to kill my neighbor if he does something that's going to kill me first of course. So you know if we're acting like, oh Mexico is our good friend, of course they are but it doesn't have any impact on what you do about reducing your own risk.
Scott you're fed posting. What is fed posting? Is that like I work for the feds? So you think... I'm being asked if I would kill the coyotes if they were trans. No I would not. I would not. If the coyotes decide to be trans I would let them go. I would not because I don't want to be part of making the problem worse. I'm only just trying to solve this drug problem. But good question.
All right, so Joe Manchin it looks like he's gonna kill the big climate bill that would be expensive. Does anybody think that Manchin is doing this for any other reason than because he has a lot of coal business in his state and they probably support him for re-election and God knows what else? I mean it's just for the coal. But it's interesting because our system lets him do that. Not only lets him do that but encourages it really. I mean he does represent his state. His state does benefit from coal. I don't know. I go back and forth about Manchin. Do you have the same problem? Because on one hand I think, oh he's doing exactly what his voters want. It doesn't work for us but that's how the system works and so you know I accept it as part of the system. But on the other hand don't you kind of suspect that maybe he's doing it because big coal gives him money? I don't know that but is it the most obvious thing you would want to ask? Are you getting any side benefits from big coal in any way? You know it's a question to ask.
So it looks like Biden is going to fail completely on this big green energy thing because of Manchin, huh? Somebody pointed out that his last name is Manchin. It sounds exactly like you know what he's doing. He's putting his chin out there.
All right, how many murderers do each of you know? I want to do a poll here. How many murderers do you personally know? People that you've talked to, had a conversation with, like actual murderers, guaranteed murderers. I've seen a number of you. Somebody said two, three, two. Now I'm not gonna count military. Not military. One, one, none. No don't count abortion just for this purpose. Don't count it. Snipers don't count. Yeah one suspected.
I was thinking the other day that I know two and I thought how many other... At least three. Wow. And I wondered how many people know, actually personally know a murderer. The most famous one wrote a book about it and he was, he lived in the cubicle on the other side of the little cubicle wall for me when I worked at Pacific Bell. So he worked in marketing and he was the cubicle, like literally if I'm looking at my computer he's just there on the other side of the little wall. And he murdered a friend, strangled him with a belt, went to jail and wrote a good book about it. He mentioned me in the book. Yeah one. So I think I know one convicted at least. You know two. Erica knows two. Well you met a guy who said he was an assassin.
I once had a friend who said she dated a contract killer and her story was that in the middle of the night you get a call and he'd take out his little contract killer gun with the silencer, they'd assemble it and they'd be gone for several hours. They'd come back several hours later presumably having just killed somebody. And she reports that the sex was excellent. So apparently if you have sex with a contract killer right after he does his job, really good, he's really good. So if you're looking to upgrade your sexual experience I would recommend a contract killer.
All right, somebody says my wife murdered my inner joy. We'll take that as a murder. All right. Yes it is disgusting, true but disgusting.
All right let me ask you this. How many of you have been in jail? I see one person saying so. How many of you personally have been in jail? Mostly no's. Smattering of yeses I assume. Yet most of the yeses are probably young person mischief. Yep. Oh just visiting doesn't count. Drunk tank. Yep. That's a lot of people on this. Well I'm seeing quite a difference on the Locals platform. So the people who pay a subscription to see my extra content, a lot of criminals in this group. Compare, you can't see it but compared to the YouTube answers on YouTube it's no, no of course not, no. Over on Locals says yep, yep, three years, yup, yup. It's not quite that bad. I'm exaggerating but it does look like there's a difference. Apparently I attract a criminal element. Yeah being a criminal is relative. Very interesting. For selling pot. Oh my god your ex-boyfriend may have pushed his next girlfriend off a roof. Okay that's scary. YouTubers don't get caught. Okay that's funny.
All right Locals you've been insulted but cleverly. So I'm going to repeat it. I said that there are more criminals it seemed like on the Locals platform and somebody at YouTube says the YouTubers don't get caught. That's pretty funny. I'm going to try to create some kind of like cattle and sheep friction between the Locals and the YouTube people for no good reason. Over on Locals they're saying to the YouTubers, "F you." They stole my wedding ring. What? All right so that's enough for now.
It's kind of a slow news day so we're gonna let it go. Let's get to our day and let me just give you a little summary of things. Did you notice the gas prices are down, right? They're still way too high but they are down, right? You have noticed that. Nuclear plants are being not decommissioned as much as they were. Even it looks like even Japan is going more pro-nuclear again. So nuclear energy is up.
I don't think the next mask mandate, which I think they'll try, I don't think it's going to work. I feel like the public is just about done with the mask mandates. We'll see but we're close. Yeah, generation 4 nuclear is being built in, is it Wyoming? And in my opinion the odds of a nuclear conflict with Russia are I'd say about zero right now, wouldn't you? Yeah. So we went from that was a real risk to now I would say that we're moving our manufacturing from China not quickly but it doesn't have to be quick. We just have to stop moving it there which I believe has already happened. Am I right? We did stop moving it there.
Now what you're worried about, the labor coming across the border. See what I did there? Did you catch that? I talked about the labor coming across the border. I didn't mean to do that but that was manipulative as hell. That was accidental by the way because I was thinking ahead of my point but in a condition where it's hard to hire. One of the biggest problems in the economy right now is there not enough people, right? There are not enough people to hire. At the same time we have hordes of people coming across the border. Now they may not be trained in the right ways but they're going to pick up some of the slack for things that nobody's doing. So we do have massive illegal immigration at the same time we have massive need for employees. It's not the worst problem, is it?
Now let me be clear I'm in favor of strong border control and I'm in favor of us ratcheting up or down our immigration based on our economic situation. If I were in charge of the border right now do you know what I'd do? I'd open it up because economically I'm pretty sure we need workers more than we need to stop them. You know because there is crime, there is other things coming but give me just, you know we don't have all the information but do you think that you have the same issue with illegal immigration when we need the workers? Does it feel the same? And I get that we're, you know there's a crime element coming in with, you know, good people, right? But this would be exactly the time I would have opened the border if we had fully controlled borders. If we had a wall that worked along the whole border this is when I would have opened the door. That's with your brains, isn't it?
This is a fascinating experience on my side because I see the nature of the comments in real time as they're going by and doesn't it you up to know that I'm totally strong border, always have been. You know you should seal that border so a tick can't get through unless you wanted to, right? So you need total control over your border and if we have high unemployment you close it. If you have low unemployment like we do now and you need workers you open it wide. Yeah. And what's weird about this is I know that most of you, almost all of you are really strong against illegal immigration as am I. Illegal, I'm very strong against illegal immigration. But I don't see any pushback to this and I don't know what's going on because it's not like any of you are shy.
Oh open it for illegal immigration. Well I see what you're saying but this is a slightly different topic. I'm saying that I'm saying I would let them in legally you know and track them and whatever we need to do. But here's my point and I feel like you agreed but you don't want to say it so I'm
Context —
going to say it again. I want to see if you can go the extra distance. I don't think you can so this is sort of a challenge to your mental flexibility. Could you go all the way to at the moment because we need the workers that the illegal immigration is not a problem in the way that it normally would be? Can you go there? Who can go there with me? It's a tough place to go because if your entire po…
Next segment → →