. If you're in most of the United States, it's going to be over a hundred where I am, and I'm looking forward to it. It's time to get wet.

All right, let's talk about all the fun things in the news. Here's a little observation I made. I sure remember when I was younger that when people talked about things, they would often talk about things they liked, right? They'd say, I went on vacation. I liked it. There's a new TV show. I love it. There's a thing that happened. I went to the circus. It was great. Do you remember those days? And now what we talk about is things we don't do. Oh, let me tell you, I don't watch television. No, no. You do? Oh, you watch television? Oh, that's funny. No reason, no reason, no reason. No, no, but you watched television, right? I gave up television a long time ago. I'm superior to you in so many ways. The television is just one. It's just one of the many ways I'm superior to you because you watch television. Then we also do, don't drink Bud Light. I don't shop at Target. I don't watch CNN. I don't watch Fox. We're defining ourselves by what we don't do. Am I wrong? Is this new? It's kind of different. You used to define yourself by what you did. For example, I used to say I was a tennis player. Now I say I don't watch MSNBC. I've just defined myself by what I'm unwilling to do. All right, that's not a good sign probably.

Now here's a story that you knew was coming. Talk about the most predictable thing you could possibly predict. Gyms and fitness centers are now embracing fatness. So instead of getting you to look trim and muscular and etc., that's out the door. Now we're going to make you fat and happy. So you could be as fat as you want, but you need to be healthy. So they're going to work on your mental health and your strength, and your weight will be de-emphasized. So it's not about shedding pounds anymore. So the fatness will replace the fitness. And you also are coming. Is there anybody here who's on a dating site? Is there anybody in the audience who's using a dating app of any kind? Which is what I ask you. Dating app of any kind. Okay, my audience is too old. There's not a single person saying yes, or one. All right. I would just want to leave you with this question. Do the photos of the people on the dating app look about the same as they did before the pandemic? Have you noticed anything different? In the old days you'd see a lot of pictures of people from, you know, you'd see their whole body. And now the most common thing when people show their photo in any sense, whether it's a profile picture or anything else, the photo's like this much. Yeah, people are only showing this much of their body now. Hey, hey, don't ask about what's below this ad or above this ad. It's just this part. I've tried to sell you on this part. If I could get you sold on this part, maybe you won't ask as many questions about what's above the hand and below the hand. So that's new.

I heard that Rome said that the Coliseum would be available if Zuckerberg and Musk want to fight in there, in the Coliseum. To which I said, okay, there's no way you can make this story better, right? When I first heard that Zuckerberg and Musk might actually fight, I said to myself, well, it can't get better. And this is the ultimate entertaining story. There's no way you can make this better. And then I imagined them doing it in the Coliseum. Okay, that's better. That is better. I didn't think you could do it. You know, honestly, I didn't think it was possible, but that's better. And then I thought, if you're going to do it in the Coliseum, that's really only a little driving distance from the Vatican. Guess who would be the best referee? No, not Joe Rogan. The Pope. Can we get the Pope to referee the fight between Zuckerberg and Musk? And no, I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. We got all the way to, look, we started with no story and we go all the way to Zuckerberg and Musk fighting in the Coliseum. You didn't see that coming. Which one of you predicted that? None of you, right? Can you admit you're not good at predicting the future?

All right. Well, I say the Pope will be the referee for a fight that may or may not be naked between Musk and Zuckerberg in the Coliseum. That's what I want, and I'm not willing to settle for anything less than that. I don't want anything less than that. That's my minimum bid.

All right. I gotta show you this. Did you happen to see the Trump Chris Christie tweet? Well, it was a truth, not a tweet. I gotta show you the picture because without the picture it doesn't work as well. Could be one moment. So there was a photograph of Chris Christie sleeping on a flight, and he wasn't looking too elegant. Yeah, here's a little picture. So Chris, he's just sort of, you know, slovenly spread out across the seat and a half on the flight. But the funny part is that Trump does a truth. He's so funny. He goes, Trump just titles it. He says, resting after a good 25 minutes of work. I know. Here's why Trump is so funny. He's completely, Trump is completely underrated as a humorist. He's one of the funniest people in the world, but because he has this other job, you know, you don't think about it. But here's why this is funny. It's resting after a good 25 minutes of work. The thing that sells this is the word good. If he said resting after 25 minutes of work, that's not really funny, is it? Resting after 25 minutes of work. It would just sort of lay there, wouldn't it? But he puts the word good in there. Resting after a good 25 minutes of work. It was the addition of the word good that turned it from a sentence into a joke. How many people would have known that? How many people would have known that if you put that word good in there it turns out funny? He does have a skill. It's a very special skill. He's completely underrated for his writing ability. As a writer, I would say as a writer of truths and tweets, he's just one of the best.

So then Chris Christie thought he would dunk on Trump. So after Trump does this perfect Trump truth, I mean it's perfectly in character, it's also a