Coffee With Scott Adams — Knowledge Archive May 24, 2026
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Back to episode — Episode 2502 CWSA 06/11/24

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Scott Adams Locals community, you know that they've hired an Elbonian engineer because they've got DEI targets. The Elbonian engineer is headless. He has no head. But you'll see how that goes. The headless Elbonian hired for DEI reasons in Dilbert. There's a new study that says patients in the hospital might not need to use a ventilator because they're developing new technologies where you can br…

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latforms. So bigger than a battleship, but like a giant platform with energy beam devices to knock things out of the sky. That's what's coming. I think China is going to build big floating platforms that are just purely military. That's my prediction.

All right. I think the UFO whistleblowers are coming close to confirming that we live in a simulation. But here are some of the things we know. I may have mentioned this before. Bob Lazar, UFO whistleblower, said that there's some big religious document that has something to do with the UFOs. And if you're wondering why would there be a religious document and what does that have to do with UFOs, and maybe it's the reason that the public can't be informed about whatever is going on.

But Lazar said that he doesn't know the details, but the aliens believe that we're vessels for something. So you might say souls. Well, maybe. But do you know what else is a vessel for somebody else? A game avatar. If you're a gamer and you're controlling a little creature, that's you. The creature is acting like a person, but it's inhabited by you while you're playing the game.

I think this is my prediction: that whatever this UFO phenomenon is, we're getting more hints that it might not be from other planets. Now, I think the Tucker Carlson view is that it's angels and demons, which is one interpretation. I think the more obvious one is that we're a simulation and that the things visiting us are the game players from the other dimension. The other dimension meaning the people who are actually with a game controller in their hand controlling the game. And that they have a way to visit our world to see different views. And one of them is to create a fake spaceship so that within the game, which is our simulation, they could be a player but they could also be in a spaceship. And that's what we're seeing.

So the reason that the government has this on their top, top, top, top secret is not because we're collecting things and reverse engineering them. I don't think we're reverse engineering anything. I think we found out we're a simulation and the government doesn't want to tell you because it would be chaos. But I do think they're preparing you for it. Watch how many ways we seem to be prepared for it.

Does it strike you as interesting that Elon Musk has been saying we're a simulation for a while now? So it didn't come from the government, so you didn't have to take it seriously. It's not like we discovered anything. Elon is just giving you the logic of it. That's most likely. We're a simulation. I feel like that's preparing us. I feel like we're getting prepped for something big maybe.

So here's my prediction. My prediction is if we ever find out what this UFO phenomenon is, we will simultaneously learn it's not from other planets. It's from whoever is controlling our simulation. It will be our actual creators. That's right. Within a year, there's actual possibility we will meet our creators, and it will be us. That's a possibility.

Let's talk about Apple. Apple made its big announcement that involves AI. And it's funny. The first wave of information I got made me laugh because I introduced a calculator on the iPad, which makes me think Steve Jobs would be so proud that they put a calculator on an iPad. No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't be impressed at all.

But they also had a thing where yo

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u can schedule when your texts arrive. Again, Steve Jobs not impressed. It can also record phone calls, but it tells the person they're being recorded. So these are very small things. But then I found out it also has a suite of AI stuff it can do. So I went from, huh, I'm glad I sold my Apple stock because it looks like there's nothing here, all the way to, oh boy, do I want to upgrade my phone ba…

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