Oh, I just realized I started this 10 minutes early, but you're not going to mind, are you? I looked at my clock wrong, but you don't mind at all. No, we're going to start early today because I've got a story to tell you while we're waiting for the rest of them.

So as some of you know, I've had a little trouble with my back recently—just, you know, muscle and sciatica and stuff, the normal stuff. And so I kept getting recommended to get an inversion table. So there's two parts to this story. One part is, have I ever told you that I have this weird history of curing people's medical problems? I've told you that before. I cure a lot of people's medical problems, sometimes accidentally.

I mean, here's one example. I had a tennis partner I used to play with every week for years, and one day he said, "Oh, I have terrible allergies, blah blah blah." And I said, "Well, do you try this over-the-counter stuff, Allegra?" And he said, "What?" I said, "Yeah, you just try this Allegra stuff and it takes care of your allergies." He said, "Are you kidding?" And he tried—I think he tried the competitor to Allegra, the other one—and after decades and decades of just complete suffering, he said that worked. So I cured somebody of one of their most vexing problems in their entire life just by saying, "Oh, have you tried Allegra?"

Since that time, and because I write books about how to do things, I hear back from people that they've quit drinking. Probably hundreds of people have stopped drinking now because of something I said. Maybe hundreds or even thousands of people have lost incredible amounts of weight because they used a system instead of a goal. I've helped cure people of spasmodic dysphonia—the problem I had with my voice, similar to what RFK Jr. has—because I informed people that there was one doctor at least that could cure it with surgery, which is why you can hear me now. And also worked with shy bladder and a number of other things. So you've heard most of the stories.

By weird coincidence, I have in fact cured people of even OCD. I cured somebody with a reframe. I've cured people of depression with reframes. Now none of this is planned. It's not like I started my life and said, you know what, I would like to figure out how to cure a bunch of people in random ways. But part of my story—it's a two-parter—is that I cured somebody, I think, of a back problem. Not just me. Here's how I did it.

I went to Amazon to buy one of those inversion tables—the thing that turns you upside down so it stretches your back—and I hit the buy button and I realized, oh, I've got the wrong address on there. So I immediately canceled it because it was an address for a family member, and I canceled it and I redo it to my correct address. Well, too late. I discovered that it initiated both sales. So even though I had canceled it, for reasons I don't quite understand, they delivered it anyway to some other address.

So I get a call: "Hey, I've got this thing. Came to the wrong address. Must be yours." And I thought, well, I could return it, but you know, it's somewhere in another part of the state. Maybe somebody needs it. So I said, "Do you know anybody who wants it?" And said person looked around and found that there was somebody in the network who had a back problem and was looking for one. So I said, ah, could have it for I don't know, 20 cents on the dollar or something. So I gave them an inversion table.

Now I put together my own because my own came to my house, and sure enough, it really makes your back feel better. So it works. So I've accidentally, by pushing the wrong button on Amazon, cured a stranger's back problem—somebody I'll never meet—because I know it works. And you know, it's kind of expensive. It's like $500. I don't know if anybody would just sort of try it on their own. But if you get one for $100 and somebody did, so somebody's got a good back who may be thanking me in Southern California.

But here's the funny part. So I get my own inversion table and I'm getting ready to assemble it, and the first thing I realized is that there are many, many parts to the assembly and it's all going to be this stuff that's awkward to hold and you need three hands. You know, like you have to hold the thing while you're putting three screws in that don't go quite through the holes the right way, and you know you have to have at least six hands. So I said to myself, there's no way I'm going to assemble that without hurting my back. And sure enough, it's really hard on your back to assemble that freaking thing.

So by the time I was done, I was like, ah, ah, I can't believe I have to twist myself in pretzel