ape. Luckily I'm not dead, but I know the worst thing that you could ever hear is somebody describing their health problems. But mine were kind of funny, so I just have to tell you anyway.

About a few weeks ago I had this problem where I had some kind of stomach flu, not sure what it was, and at the same time, by terrible luck, I had this severe injury that I didn't know where it came from that affected my left hip so that I couldn't even walk. It was just screaming pain whenever I walked. So I had two problems at the same time. Either one individually would have been like the worst thing that happened to you, but boy, you put them together and that's a bad time.

Now this was a few weeks ago. Then the other day on Friday I get that stomach flu back, you know, with all the shakes and aches and pains and everything bad, and my other leg, my other leg got the problem that had now healed from the first time. So how in the world do I get two, probably either coronavirus or virus or norovirus, whatever, it doesn't matter. How in the world do I get it twice in a row? That's combined with the exact injury, except it's the other leg. How's that even possible?

Well, I finally figured out what it was. The leg problem is because of the way I was sleeping. So apparently when I lay on my side I do something with my leg that puts it in a bad position. So when I wake up I'm in screaming pain and it takes hours or sometimes days to get back to normal so I can even just walk. So yesterday I couldn't put anything in my body, which meant that I couldn't have coffee or anything else. So I've got a coffee headache, I've got all the symptoms of a flu, and I've got screaming pain in one of my legs.

Now when I say screaming I mean actually literally. It would have been bad to be my neighbor because about every hour I'd wake up and scream with every step. Now you're saying to yourself, that's really bad, that's really bad. So I'm uncaffeinated, I'm sick, and I need a banana because I think a banana is the only thing I could possibly get down. Sometimes you just know what you might be able to eat, and I think if I get the banana I can get the coffee on top of it maybe and it wouldn't be so bad and then I'd at least feel better.

And I'm like, all right, I need a banana. So I limped to my kitchen, oh, with every step. And for the one time, this is very rare, I have no bananas. I almost always have a banana. It's like my most basic thing I keep. So I go to order one to be delivered. Not one, you know, a bunch of bananas. So I get on Amazon to get my banana because I'm so out of it that I couldn't tell the difference between Amazon and DoorDash. I confuse them because they both bring groceries to me. But I forgot that Amazon is the one that brings it to you the next day. No, I needed it right away. I need that banana. I really need a banana.

So I get on Amazon. I'm like, oh, banana. How interface? And I put some stuff in a basket and then it disappeared and I'm in some other mode because I guess Amazon has more than one way to buy groceries that somehow got mixed up, the two ways. So every time I would add something and then I think I was done, I'd be ready to send, there would be no send button. There was no buy button. And then I'd end up in some other mode. And so I think Amazon has at least three different ways to buy groceries. So I couldn't figure it out. But I finally figured it out and put in the order and then it tells me it's going to be there tomorrow. And I'm like, what? Oh shit, I'm on Amazon. I need DoorDash.

So I'd already ordered it. So now I've got a bunch of stuff coming that I don't need that should be sometime tod