p. It happens now.

Spectacular. Oh, it just keeps getting better.

Well, let's talk about the people who wasted money on research. Number one, the Daily Mail is reporting that according to new research, people who are attractive get paid 11% more. As if my followers didn't know that already. So I hope you're all enjoying your 11% extra pay, because let's face it, you are the sexiest, best-looking group of people on the entire planet. So it's a little bit unfair, but I think they could have saved a little bit of time and money by just asking me. Just ask Scott, "Hey Scott, do you think attractive people make more money?" Yes. "Do you think men who are taller make more money?" Yes. You don't have to do that one either. I know all the answers to these.

How about another one? According to an X post, Vladimir something writes that anger might enhance creative performance. Again, just ask me. Really, you could just ask me. Yes, anger generates more creative performance. I'm getting a little mad at this right now, and look how much better I'm doing. Yeah, anger. When I started the Dilbert comic, there was a direct correlation between how much something bothered me and how funny I could make it. 100% perfect correlation. And in fact, I developed the humor concept that you can't make it a joke about something that doesn't bother you. You just can't do it. You could try, but it would just be, oh, seat belts. Well, actually seat belts are pretty good. So just ask me next time.

All right. According to the Daily Mail, this one sounds like I made it up, but I didn't make this up. More than half of dating app users plan to abstain from masturbating this year. But the article warns there could be all kinds of risks. Apparently it makes your penis and/or your clitoris shrink if you don't work it out. Yeah, it'll shrink. And it's good for your prostate if you're a guy, and it's good for your cardio. And I know a lot of people just replace their cardio routine with masturbating. You just do it a little more aggressively, and it's all about the same.

However, I think that the real reason for the lack of masturbating is that people don't look as good to each other as they used to. Have you noticed that? It's not just me, right? Part of it is I think, you know, I'm at a certain age where I don't have really contact with young people, so I'm pretty much seeing people my age and, you know, 50 and over. But it does seem like people are way less attractive in the general public. If you want to see somebody attractive, let's say female, you end up looking at some, you know, weird OnlyFans situation, and then you're like, maybe, yuck, down by that. So yeah, I could totally see why people would just be less aroused. Testosterone would be lower. And I'm sure for the women, you know, half of the men look like they're just women. So yeah, I can see why people would just be giving up.

According to the Post Millennial, now here's one of these things where you think it couldn't be true what people are claiming, and then you see this stat. 15% of women in federal prison were born men. So they're trans. 15% of women's prisons are biological males. Now that makes sense, because biological males tend to be the ones who create the most crimes. So if you've got enough trans, you're going to be filling your prisons with them, because men are just more likely to commit crimes. So yeah, 15%. Now that's something that Trump is ending, right? I think he's going to change that.

Imagine if you went through all the trouble of going trans so you could get into a women's prison, and then they pull you back into a men's prison. You would feel so good about yourself. You're like, yes, I beat the system. Yeah, they can put me in prison, but they're going to have to put me in the women's prison because I put on a dress. Then Trump's like, okay, take your dress to the men's prison. Oh, that could work out entirely differently.

Well, CNN is getting rid of what's his name, Jim Acosta. So Jim Acos