tion. It doesn't go well at all.

All right. So let me grab my notes. And uh, wait, what's wrong with my notes? Something happened to my notes. Oh, it's the 2026 Dilbert calendar that accidentally jumped into my hand to remind you that it's available at Amazon.com. It's the only place you can get it. And it's got comics on both sides. And it'll make you so happy. Well, I can barely express how happy you'll get. Barely.

All right. Oh, you're a beast of a man. I'm no beast. You're a beast.

All right, let's look at all the interesting stories today. There's a new theory about why kids are doing poorly in school, as if they needed another reason. It's the laptops. So apparently, as we know, if children are allowed to watch television, their brains will rot. And if children are allowed to have smartphones, their brains will rot. And if they're allowed to have iPads, you know, their brains will rot. However, here's the good news. If they have laptops, which apparently more and more kids do as they go to school, that's very predictive that they will do poorly in school because apparently they spend a lot of time just messing around on the laptop and not as much time learning.

Did you know that apparently they know that if you write your notes with your hand, as in handwritten notes, that you'll remember your notes better than if you typed them? I knew that. So one of the things that I used to do is try to activate as many different senses and parts of the brain as I could when I studied back in my studying days. So sometimes I'd draw a picture of the thing. Sometimes I'd write it by hand. Sometimes I'd write it more than once. So I tried to just engage every possible physical and mental sense to wrap it around the idea I was trying to remember. And that's your tip for the day. Tell your school-age child how to do that.

All right, here's the most surprising story of the day. I want you to see if you can guess the direction this story will take. This will be a tough one. According to the Gateway Pundit, the Chicago Teachers Union has been put on notice because apparently they failed to do a financial audit for half a decade. That would be five years for those of you who went to Chicago schools.

So let's see. What do you think happened when a Chicago Teachers Union who took lots of money from their members and then for five years didn't tell anybody where it went? Huh? Chicago Teachers Union, large bunch of money seems to be missing, and nobody can say where it went. What happened? Well, it's the world's most predictable outcome. If it's a large organization and they haven't done an audit, guess what? They stole it. Is it ever anything else?

Do you think they're just going to find that, hey, oh wow, this is kind of a surprise. Turns out we just didn't spend the money. We have all this money to refund because we just didn't spend it. No, that probably didn't happen.

I have two ways to look at this. Number one, the opposite of the word audited is what? So they were not audited. What is the opposite of audited? Embezzled. If you're not auditing your large pile of money, you're embezzling it every time. It's not just sitting there doing what you wanted it to do. Somebody's embezzling it.

All right. Here's the alternate post. I was going to do this on X. So instead of saying the opposite of audited is embezzled, which I thought was pretty clever, fairly clever, I had another post that I thought was almost as good. It was just, quote, "Hey, what happened to our unwatched pile of money?" Hey, what happened to our unwatched pile of money? Well, have I ever taught you anything about unwatched piles of money? Have I taught you nothing? If there's an unwatched pile of money and you wait long enough, yeah, it's exactly what you think.

Meanwhile, I saw a story Wall Street Apes had this on X that Democrats apparently laundered, that's their word, laundered, 93 billion dollars during the 76 days between when Tru