cro lesson on that. There's a lot of yeses. Wow, I'm sorry about that. So I feel the same situation. I feel like I have to intentionally rebuild my social network because it just completely shrunk and shrunk to the family.

Let me tell you a system for doing this. I was going to do a micro lesson on my Locals subscription service on how to make friends. Would you like that? I'm going to give you a quick little lesson on how to make friends. And I actually wrote it on my whiteboard over here, which you can almost see. I shouldn't have shown you that other one I guess.

And here's the technique. Number one, make new friends. Don't think of it as a goal. Think of it as a system. It's the same process I use for everything. A goal approach would be I think I'm going to identify somebody I want as a friend and I'm going to try to make that person my friend. That doesn't really work. It's hard to just say well I think you'll be my friend. I'm going to make you a friend. I don't ever see that work. So that would be a goal approach and it just doesn't work.

Here's the system approach. It goes like this. Number one, have defined interests. Become the person who cares about X. Now X is up to you. Could be politics, could be a sport, could be a hobby, could be an interest, could be a cause. Find something to define you so that when your friends describe you they say oh if you met Scott he talks about politics, he plays tennis. Become a stereotype.

Here's why. As soon as you become known as the person who does X, whatever X is, then all of the other people who like X are drawn to you and they have a reason to talk to you and you have reason to talk to them. And your friend will say hey I know you're interested in X, you should meet my sibling who also likes X or my ex who likes X.

So be the moth. Be the flame that attracts the moth. Don't be the moth. Be the flame. Be the person who says here is what I am and now I'm going to attract stuff. So first of all have a defined interest that other people recognize and that will attract people of like interest. So that's the first part of the system.

Next, be valuable. Be valuable. You would like to live in a world in which friendship is based on some conceptual value that you'll just say you know I like people, people are good, I like Bob, Bob's a good person, Bob's my friend. I'll tell you how a goal is different from affirmations in a minute.

Friendship is a transactional situation. Your family might not be. In your family you might have something close to complete love without any restrictions. But friends are transactions. Now you don't want to think of it that way but I'm sorry it's just true. It's always true. Your friends are people for whom you provide a value and they provide a value back. If that's not happening, get rid of your friend. Unless of course they're giving you value and you're giving them nothing. That'd be okay for you. But it's only