a friendship if you both know what you're getting and you're both delivering it.

For example, you might be valuable because you're funny and people say I love being around a funny person. You might be valuable because you're an empath and people say man when I have a problem I sure like talking to X. You might be valuable because your home is a good one for getting together. You might be valuable because you're an organizer. You're the person who brings everybody together. You might be valuable because you have lots of friends and people want to be your friend to have access to your network of friends.

But make sure you have a value. If you're not offering a thing of value, why would anybody be your friend? Seriously, why would they be your friend? It's not because your inner you, your soul is so good. Forget about that. Nobody can see your soul. Nobody can see your inner thoughts. People can see what you do. So do something valuable for the people you would like to be friends with. If you can't do something for other people, don't complain you don't have friends. They need you to do something for them. That's how it works.

So get over your romantic notions that friendship is based on some connection in your soul. It's not that at all. It's just people who have stuff in common, who have an interest and a value that is an exchange. That's all. It's transactional. But there's nothing wrong with that. The world has gone on forever exactly with this system. You don't have to be the one who bucks it. Use the system. Yeah, don't fight the system. Use it. It's been tested for hundreds of thousands years.

You should also either join groups or organize them. So find a group of people who are doing the thing that you're interested in and join that group. The best way to make friends is simply by doing the same stuff with people that you didn't know that well, and then you get to know them. You got something to talk about. Oh you do X? I do X. Let's talk about X. And then you're on your way.

So if you can't join a group that is of interest to you, be the organizer. Are you worried that if you're the organizer people will say no to you? Here's the trick. Don't say to one person would you like to do X with me? Because if you get turned down for that, that feels kind of personal, doesn't it? Would you like to go to a movie with me? That's tough for some people to ask. Nobody likes to be rejected. So don't do that.

Instead be an organizer and say I'm thinking of going to movie X. Put out a message to your network. Does anybody want to go with me? That's it. I'm going to do something on this day. Who would like to join me? Then you don't know who turned you down. Nobody has to answer. It's just the people who want to join you say yes. If you get nobody joining you, nobody even knows. Nobody's going to know if you went to the movie. They just know you put it out there. That's all. If they didn't go, they didn't answer. That's all they know. So there's nobody turning you down and there's nobody saying yes. Well I mean somebody might say yes but.

So don't ask one-on-one. Organize a group. Put in an offer. Offer to host. Offer to create an event around something. Be the organizer.

And next thing is diversify and prune. Don't think that your process of making friends is to get some friends and then you're done. No, good. Your process of making friends should be a continuous process where you're adding new friends all the time and you're diversifying so that if you lose a friend, ah, you got 10 more. You lose another friend, you still got 10 more because you added a new friend.

What you don't want is to have two friends and then one of them gets pissed off at you and you lost fifty percent of your social network because you made one person mad, right? Diversify. 10 friends, 20 friends, 30 friends. That's what you're going for. And if you get to 10 and you say to yourself well that's enough friends, no, because you need to prune friends too.

How many of your friends are just users? They're just toxic. Are you getting rid of the toxic ones? Because they're taking your time. You've got to get rid of the toxic ones. And some people can become toxic even if they didn't start that way. So you got to get rid of the toxic ones. And the only way you can get rid of toxic friends is to have diversified your friend portfolio so that you can grab one and say ah, toxic, get rid of it. And it doesn't even change the average. You don't even notice it. It's just better, right?

So diversify, grow your friends, and prune. Viciously prune. Prune viciously.

And the other tip is there are people who are good organizers and connectors. You probably know some. If you know 20 people, probably maybe only one of them or even fewer could be zero. Maybe one of them would be the person who knows lots of people and has parties and introduces you to people. If you're going to put any interest into a person, find one of those. All right, find one of those. The organizer, the person who has lots of friends.

And then how do you make that person your friend? Do you call them and say hey be my friend? Nope, that doesn't work. And plus they might say no. You don't want to do that. Offer them something. If there's somebody who's a good organizer, have a party and invite them. If you invite an organizer to three parties at your place, there's a hundred percent chance, and let's say the organizer goes three times to your place, there's a hundred percent chance that you will get invited to their next party. And that's the one. That's the good one. That's where all the people are because that's the organizer. That's how you do it.

You find the people who are the highest value connectors. You make sure you put more attention toward them than other people because they're the high value.

Somebody says I'm the toxic one. Then the other thing you ought to work on, because that's a good comment, is don't bother to make friends if you're an okay. Work on that. If you know you're an or you know you're not very, let's say, generous to your friends, your problem is not ability to make friends. The problem is if you made friends accidentally, you know, your work friends or the people that you just met casually, it doesn't matter if you're going to be an. There's no point.

All right, so that is your goal for today. No