news. There's a leaked video of musical star Drake who, if you were to believe that the video is real, appears to be pleasuring his gigantic male member while somebody surreptitiously films it. Now by coincidence his own phone is in front of his face, so there is no part of Drake which I recognize. I'd like to go on record as saying that if I see a video of allegedly Drake and the only part of it I can see are his feet and his penis, I'm going to say I can't tell that's Drake. Now for me I would have to see a little bit of his face, but apparently for just about everybody in the media seeing his exposed penis was enough to identify him, which raises many questions. How many people have seen Drake's dick? But now that I've seen it, I think I'd recognize him next time I see one, so I'm glad we all caught up on that.

Now you probably heard a story about Biden, and the story was told wrong. I'll try to correct that. The story was that he mixed up the names of the leader of France. Instead of saying Macron he accidentally referred to Mitterrand, who's been dead since 1996. Now the way it's being reported is Biden is old and he mixed up a name, and that's not so different than things that Trump's done. Trump mixed up Nancy Pelosi and Kamala Harris. Or no, Nikki Haley. Look at me mixing up names. It's like I'm 100 years old.

Anyway, I don't think this is a story about mixing up names. I have a different theory. I believe that Biden is now so close to death and he's gone so far toward the light, you know, down the tunnel, that's what they say, you go down the tunnel toward the light. I feel like he's about three quarters down the tunnel and he could actually see the dead people. So he didn't mishear Mitterrand, but I think he can see him. So maybe not forgetting names so much as now about three quarters down the tunnel and just past the light you can see some of his old friends back there. That's what I think. I mean I'm just speculating, but that's what it feels like.

Well, ex-president Trump has offered to replace Biden for the Super Bowl interview, which traditionally is the sitting president. But we have a sitting president who heard the opportunity that he could speak wherever he wanted to and could say it in front of the biggest audience in all of America, the Super Bowl audience, and the sitting president said no thanks. And it's totally because he doesn't need to, right? No, we have a sitting president who literally can't do a TV interview. It's too dangerous politically. That's a real thing that's happening right in front of us now. There's no other explanation for it. Am I right? Has anybody offered a second reason why he might not want to do the interview which would be the biggest audience in America, who's already, you know, at least half of them are in a good mood? I don't know. I feel like they stopped trying to explain it. You know, it used to be, well he's got COVID so he's going to stay in his basement. You know there was always a cover story, but there's no cover story on this one, is there? This is just absolutely transparent. He cannot do this interview. He just doesn't have the ability.

So Trump cleverly says that he'll do the interview and he says it's quote "ratings gold." Now wouldn't you be disappointed if you found out that Biden wasn't going to do this traditional interview because I guess there was a long history of this, and that you'd be so disappointed if Trump didn't offer to do it and say it was ratings gold? If he'd only just offered to do it I'd be like, and it'd be like there's something missing. It's like, I think I'll do the interview and it's ratings gold. There it is. There it is. That's the Trump we're waiting for, is ratings gold.

All right, so there's a new censorship scandal. I mean there's so many of these government censorship scandals they're all starting to run together in my mind. The stories that I hate are there's a new twist in one of the lawfare trials against Trump. Oh God, am I going to have to understand which one it is and which corrupt DA it is and which charges? I don't want to have to figure this out again because none of it seems real. It just all seems like, you know, it's like I literally am sifting through to find the better, like it's just har